Leaving Micah at 6 months

I was asked by my BFF, Jen, to be her Matron of Honor while I was pregnant with Micah. Little did I know how hard it would be to leave my little one behind for a bachelorette/bridal shower weekend, and boy was it one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. When people say that you won't understand until you have kids, I think it is true. My heart has never been more full than it is now, and leaving him behind, although it was with my husband and his parents, was still very difficult. 

I started packing for Micah a week before my trip. He was heading up to his grandparents' house in the mountains. His dad would get off work, and would be there by the end of the day. 

The longest I had ever left Micah was a few hours here or there, and that was long enough, so I knew it would be torturous for me. 

Knowing that I was going, months in advance I was able to store a healthy stash of breast milk, which helped (a little) to put my mind at ease. Then I had questions like: Will he accept the bottle every time? Will I be able to pump successfully when away? Will Micah be miserable without me, and be a handful? Will he still nurse when I return?

I rented a car for the trip, and when my husband drove me to pick it up, I finally cried. It wasn't the pretty teary-eyed crying either. I straight-up bawled my eyes out.

But you know what? He survived. He was just fine. He sucked down those bottles full of my carefully stored milk! For some reason he even slept better than when I am around. I am still trying to figure out why. These are my thoughts: maybe it was cooler there, and he likes the cold (my husband wouldn't pay for it to be that cold ;) ), maybe he drank more milk than I provide him at each session, maybe he doesn't need to be wrapped up in a swaddle anymore (his arms are out), maybe he senses I am around and I baby him more than Conrad, or maybe there is no answer and he is just young? I wish I knew, and hopefully I will be back to tell you all about it. 
In the meantime, I have been trying to analyze his schedule to come up with some kind of solution. 

Anyway, it was a lot harder on me than it was on him. I pumped every three hours, apart from the nighttime where I pumped once at 3:30 a.m. (YIKES!!) I probably didn't have to do it so much, but I was so afraid of losing my supply that I thought it was absolutely necessary. 

Steph and I drove up there (Colorado) and we ended up having a great time!! I just don't know if I would advise anyone to leave their breastfed baby at six months. It is a lot of work, and a lot of stress for the mama, and that is with an easy baby…I don't know if I would leave a somewhat difficult baby! Especially if I knew he/she wasn't good at taking the bottle. 

I'm glad that I have an easy baby so that I was able to spend such an important weekend with Jen. 

My next post will be on nighttime sleep struggles.

Love you, Jen, you know you were worth it! ;) 

Life with a 3 month old, building a supply, and such...

Just as I am becoming confident in the way things are…things change!  

I like to go to a boot camp that one of the trainers at our gym puts together…it is separate from the gym itself, and a really great way to get into shape, or stay in shape. It is three days a week, and I am gone roughly an hour and a half. I also like to run a few times a week (with and without Micah)…being that I am training for a half marathon and all. Conrad said that when I am gone now that Micah gets really fussy. Last night he was crying the entire time that I was gone. Conrad asked if I fed him (THE NERVE!), well he knows that I did, but he was frustrated that he was behaving that way with him. I think it was because he is starting to get attached to me. At first though, I started worrying that my supply was diminishing because he wasn't content, and usually he only cries if he is hungry or tired. Next time Conrad will feed him if he needs to, this is why I pump once in a while…he just didn't want to mess up the schedule that he is on. 

Are you a stay-at-home-mom and want to build a supply, but are nervous about getting an oversupply? That is definitely something I was nervous about the first month! As I have said in previous posts, I am doing what they call "block feeding." I just feed on one breast each feeding because I produce a lot of milk. So now that Micah is sleeping 7-8 hours at night (YAY!), one breast is full, while the other is not. That's when my friend, Ashley, suggested that I pump the other breast while I nurse him. This has really helped me get a supply. I do not get a great deal of milk by any means, but I keep the milk I do get in the refrigerator, and I put two-three nights' worth of milk in one storage bag. Just today I have decided to start pumping at 7 a.m., with Micah's first morning feed. I produced double the amount of milk than I do at night! I think if I do this, I won't risk getting an oversupply because it is so spaced out. 

You see, my situation is different than most people's. Try not to read too many articles online that tell you, "Most people do this…" When it came to my situation, I wasn't like most people, and then it worried me because I thought there was something wrong. 

During #strollermomsABQ (Our own Stroller Mom's club, by invite only ;) ) Ashley and I were talking about how we try to get on such a strict schedule and if it goes off a little bit, we worry that it will mess everything up. Then we came to the realization that we are stay-at-home-moms…we are here for our kids, we should feed them when they are hungry, and who cares if things get thrown a bit off. 

Anyway, that is just my two cents for the day. I hope everyone has a great weekend. Let me know if you have any questions or comments!

At almost 6 weeks...

So I was never aware of how many questions would come up when being a new mom. I guess I always have questions, so I should have known that being responsible for someone other than myself would be reason enough to have a million more questions (especially because I don't want my little one to suffer). These are just some of the questions I have come across: Is the amount of gas he is having normal? Is this much spit up normal? Why is he choking so much when he is breastfeeding? Which leads to me discovering: Do I have a strong let-down? Am I overproducing breast milk?  What if I over produce? Then, How often should my baby be on my breast? Should I switch breasts? What if my baby falls asleep when breastfeeding? How many hours should I go between feedings? Which leads me to read lots and lots of literature on all of the aforementioned issues. Which leads me to discover very conflicting information.
I have been fortunate enough to have a lot of friends who know a lot of things, and who have read different things. My good friend, Ashley, has twins, as I have said before and she is totally on top of everything! She tells me that she has to be on top of everything because if she wasn't then she would never get ahead. And she really is on top of it, I think she is doing such an amazing job.

 So then I decide that I want to do things the way she is doing them, but I find that it isn't really working for me. She tells me that babies can be trained, and she is right, but you have to be CONSISTENT. That is what I have learned. I want to be consistent, but then I "try" which I really do try, but I know that I am letting my baby kind of lead the way at the same time.
After talking to other friends this weekend, it was clear that they had a lot of struggles with sleeping and  then scheduling because of this. She tried so hard to put her first-born son on a schedule, and she would drive herself so crazy with it! When we went over to their house they complimented Micah continuously for being such a good sleeper, because she didn't have such good sleepers. They told us that they couldn't even put their son down, or he would have a fit! They tried the co-sleeper, and it didn't work! Conrad and I have a co-sleeper, and although I hold Micah more than I care to admit, he is just fine when I put him down anywhere. He has his fits, but we are able to soothe him after no more than an hour. He has his bouts of gas, spit-up episodes, and exhaustion fits, but yes, I would have to agree…he is a good baby!
Another one of my good friends, Courtney, did absolutely nothing to "train" her baby to sleep better, or to go longer between feedings, she just kind of did it all on her own.
Sleep, feeding, and some of the literature I've read
I am currently getting Micah to go 2-2 1/2 hours between feedings during the day. Last night he slept for four hours straight for two different stretches. In The Happiest Baby on the Block Guide to Great Sleep, it says that if you feed your baby more during the day, then they can go longer at night. I think I am leaning more towards using this book, because I really like Dr. Karp's ideas, not that other ideas are wrong, but that is the kind of parent I am. At first I thought I was a more Baby Wise type of Mom, but once I had Micah here, I guess I feel differently. That's the thing, you can say all that you want prior to having a baby, but THINGS CHANGE. I heard it a million times, and I didn't believe it. Well, they changed for me, anyway. I would recommend reading both books so you can decide what you want to do. There is a lot of great information in both.
Anyway, I had a lot of guilt, thinking I wasn't doing things correctly, but I have decided to just do what I think is right and take it easy. I don't want to stress out about scheduling anymore. Just because I do things one way, and someone else does things another, doesn't mean that I am wrong, or they are wrong…it just means we are doing what works best for us! :)
Self-proclaimed overproducer
Within the first weeks of Micah's birth, he was constantly choking, and I realized I had a strong let-down, and that I am producing A LOT of milk. I called lactation consultant after lactation consultant, and they told me to try different positions (I did), express milk before I fed him (I did, which totally doesn't help because it causes you to produce more!), and frozen peas (I thought would be too difficult to do between EVERY feeding). Anyway, I read about block feeding, and I decided to give it a try. I did it for a week, or so, and it really helped. He wasn't choking as much, and he was happier (although still gassy, and still spitting up). I stopped because I was worried about not producing enough. I know that pumping would help me, in that case, but I am trying to avoid pumping for the time being. As it is, I am only feeding on one breast each time because he only takes five minutes or so to nurse. Go ahead, read all you can about how much your baby "should" be nursing, and read about how they "should" switch sides…this isn't the case for me. This caused me to spend a week freaking out that he wasn't getting enough to eat. I feed on one breast now because I want him to get enough hind milk, that way he would be full and not want to keep feeding. So anyway, block feeding, in my case looked like this: baby nurses on left breast at 12:00 p.m., baby feeds on same breast at 2:30 p.m., then baby feeds on right breast at 5:00 p.m. So essentially Micah went a big block of time without feeding on one breast or the other. It helped me not to overwhelm him, but I think I should go back to trying to do it the other way, that way he gets used to the supply that I have. I am still experimenting though.
Gas and spit-up
I wondered if this was normal from the beginning. Rarely is a lot of gas and spit-up not normal, I have discovered. I have learned to ALWAYS ask your doctor if you have any questions, or are in doubt. That is always the best way to go about it. I am going to wait until my two month appointment to see how he is doing, and then I will ask my doctor more questions. So far, the nurse practitioners at the doctor's office say everything sounds normal. I am a first-time mom, so I am learning what is normal for Micah.
Anyway, with all of that said, he has been the best thing that has ever happened to us. I get so worked up because I want the best for him. I want to make sure I am doing the best I can! 

I know that he is gaining weight because of how he fits in his clothes (he's still wearing newborn). I know that he is eating enough because of how many wet and poopy diapers he has. 

Taking care of another human being is hard work! He is so worth it though.